How can you NOT be discreet? Condom Stickers

Do you know the businesses that promise unobtrusive shipping? Discreet as in, “We promise that we’re not going to put naked girls, XXX, or gigantic condom stickers outside your packaging?” I always considered it to be very considerate. It seems that everybody has adopted discreet techniques of transportation these days. Well, nearly everybody. This is the package I got in yesterday’s mail. I think the memo must have been missing… My sweetie cracked when he saw this! Oh yeah, it was funny he believed. I have done that too, but I am still mortified. My individuals! I understand you’re giving me condoms, you know you’re giving me condoms, but do you really need to understand the rest of the globe?! My poor man of mail. He must live with the understanding that I am sexually active & “secure.” I hope that the next time he brings a package to the door, I don’t get any suspect looks from him. Fortunately, this one was tiny enough to fit in the mail box, so I had never seen his response. Nevertheless, I think this suggestive packaging somewhat* cough* could put a damper on our connection. And now, for conceiving the concept of a partnership with the mailman, I feel odd and icky. All this ordeal has left me and a shower in need of treatment. Please excuse me from scrubbing my mind’s disturbing ideas. I may never be clean, dear lord.